the realization of superiority and its differences with the less superior or inferior or equivalent is demoralizing. cruel life, unfair with the handling and of the treatment amongst humans. so why did God create a gap between its very slaves?

take vjc. a college of prestige, an attraction to many, the intelligent, the all-rounded, the ability to poach sportsmen and sportswomen and the wealthy. jealousy has, certainly and almost absolutely overcome me with shan wee's obvious propaganda-inspired-cum-braggy review about vjc's talentfest. the best gets the best and the rest, there's (less often than not) the underdog story. but that's fiction, nothing more but a huge lie.

of course, you can choose to take part in this rat race of sorts, hardwork playing a major role, achieving the materialistic conformism of society which you take nothing along with you when you meet God come the end of time. maybe ilyas was right: why chase something temporary when you're gonna die in the end? such pessimistic view on life of his doesn't fancy me, not even a tad, but it made a lot of sense.

inferiority complex is irritating. so it's myself telling myself that:

not everyone can be intelligent,
not everyone can be respected,
not everyone can be good-looking,
not everyone can sustain life's enjoyment,
not everyone can be better, better,
not everyone can achieve popularity,
not everyone can be wealthy,
not everyone can have what they want,

ALL AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME.

so what do i do to make myself feel less shitty? why, see others suffer of course! the nature of life works on a vicious cycle, to see others at the end of the 'food chain' and trying to make one's self feel good. everything's psychological and jealousy takes advantage by shitting on our brains.

the simple reason why i watch trainspotting every week substantiates the above paragraph, because the reality of scottish society, a western country; reeks of social filth, seeing ewan mcgregor acting out a character in the most dossed state and knowing how life can be cool even if you're, "the lowest of the low."

true, if not for my religion, i would have gone mad and probably have jumped a 20-storey building.

God is great.