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if holden caulfield is real and is living, if he chanced upon me, he'd beat the shit out of me and kill me with his bare fists. i am a fake. i love everything and anything anglo, thinks and act like i'm anglo when i'm actually not. i worship another race because i think my own race is incompetent and impotent when i might actually be more incompetent and impotent than they are. which makes me, as holden caulfield would have put it, a phony. a first-class, gold-plated, honey-brazen phony.

:):):)

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MATT
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Monday, July 24, 2006
being power hungry and attaining that prestige has once again resulted with instant blows to myself despite all the sacrifices made and all the good intentions behind my doings. i guess the improper manner of which i handled issues is coming back to haunt me.

never mind now, more to people that i have to prove wrong.

and more reasons for me to work harder.


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