oh my goshes you cannot believe the amount of training schedule i am having that i am seriously starting to dread. it pains to know that perhaps all the sacrifices made might, in the end, amount to nothing. heck, bring it on, i have already prepared myself mentally for a period of demoralization come end of march.

so today, ilyas was like, "how can anything come out from nothing? how did things just appear in the first place?" by golly, i am guilty of being the ignorant muslim myself and he had to ask such a toughie. early last year, this dude was the one who preached the life-is-useless sentiments and asked questions like, "why do we live?" or, "what is the purpose of doing things when you die in the end?" he has simmered down a bit over the months and now he is back at it again. maybe it is just one of those days when too much thought is set on the world or maybe it is the mundane lifestyle set with the stressful workload. life has been good to me for the past few weeks so i tried to rebutt his arguments as much as i was able to. but dammit, this cynicism on life is contagious especially when things are not going your way. this guy, he is as bitter as fuck and being bitter is good. it makes you feel like you got a helluva beating by life and you have survived it.