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if holden caulfield is real and is living, if he chanced upon me, he'd beat the shit out of me and kill me with his bare fists. i am a fake. i love everything and anything anglo, thinks and act like i'm anglo when i'm actually not. i worship another race because i think my own race is incompetent and impotent when i might actually be more incompetent and impotent than they are. which makes me, as holden caulfield would have put it, a phony. a first-class, gold-plated, honey-brazen phony.

:):):)

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Thursday, April 20, 2006
in many ways, today certainly looked bad a day:

(in order of the occurence) of morning minor accident, of fingernails, of bruises on legs, of soccer match, of throbbing finger, of devilish experience, of marie's stare, of sibling's squabble and of people who thinks we anti-cultural-people are arrogant no-gooders.

i have two issues to address after today, the realization of pretty pain of life and the racial reasoning and the likes.

"never mind, things are hard at times..."


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