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if holden caulfield is real and is living, if he chanced upon me, he'd beat the shit out of me and kill me with his bare fists. i am a fake. i love everything and anything anglo, thinks and act like i'm anglo when i'm actually not. i worship another race because i think my own race is incompetent and impotent when i might actually be more incompetent and impotent than they are. which makes me, as holden caulfield would have put it, a phony. a first-class, gold-plated, honey-brazen phony.

:):):)

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Sunday, June 18, 2006
okay so it was my usual jogging session at the park (and i thank God for my performance because i can feel my fitness back up again despite my stints). during the jog, i saw a foreign worker, possibly a sri lankan, sitting on one of the benches. i was surprised that he was still there when i was heading home. i walked past him and seeing him forlorn and alone really got me thinking. he came here to earn some money for his family, in a place foreign to him, working his ass off at the expense of his life because there he was on a sunday night, sitting alone without the comfort of his family when he goes home because he would probably be sleeping in a shit ass container or something. i swear, if i were to be in his shoes, i wouldn't last a day. the scene was so depressing that it was ironically picture perfect with him sitting alone on the bench made of marble, cross-legged, staring down, showing solitary at it's best. one might wonder what was in his mind. life certainly is a bitch.


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