it's amazing how people can get so worked up over a cynical view on the malay society. i am pessimistic of the future of my own race, guilty as charged, as with some other people who agrees with the idea, despite the fact that i am malay by blood, as pure as my father who is of malaccan descent.

we have a modest or almost insignificant history to our name with a couple of obvious shortcomings that portrayed our greed and dim handling on issues. certainly, the prediction of a bleak future is not far-fetched because of our discouraging society that continues to disappoint from generation to generation.

having a cynical view does not mean a total anti-malay stance. the only reason why us critics condone the 'malay is no more' or 'malay is dead' sentiments is because we are accepting the facts as it is. our culture and tradition are shadowed by western influence (of which, i am guilty as charged again) as the youths are in full stride, accepting the western values. so, is it wrong for us to criticize the malay society?

we are a minority in singapore and it would be seemingly hard for us to do well. however, it is clear that we are not having the desired success for the amount of population we have. i am sure that we are not trying our best, not at performing at our fullest potential and are just sitting aside letting the other races monopolize everything around us. i am taking the example of malaysia as the basis of my argument with the flaw in the political system which flows down to the people and to the whole society in general. i am not saying that the other governments in the world are perfect but that the way the malaysian government works, despite having or upholding the malay ethics, is still tainted with dishonesty.

when my friends asked me regarding my choice of acquaintance, i would answer, straight up, anything but 'malay friends'. i am not in denial but i am trying my best to keep up with the others just so i could achieve what the others can achieve or do better. at least i am trying on my own to do what is best.

the real world hurts and it is a lie that malays in general are doing well in singapore. if you want the ethnic nationalism and the critiques regarding the malay community to stop, then change. still, i am certain that the others are just too ignorant and are stubborn, refuting all the views above. my cynicism is the result of being demoralized and disappointed at the current situation. it would seem impossible for us malays to be at our top.

i am lashing out this way because i am sick of getting the retorts of me being selfish, arrogant, unsympathetic or as they always put it as 'tak sedar diri'. the fact of the matter is, i work my ass off trying to keep the pride alive, hitting a few blocks and pieces of shites on the way to the point of going crazy and still trying to go on. the adults, they don't give a flying fuck and it pisses me off on how they don't have faith in us and how they don't nurture us properly to give us the headstart that we need. the representation of us malay youths in an unsatisfactory manner on television documentaries like 'hanyut' just shows how we are deeply misunderstood.

"tak akan melayu hilang di dunia," or so said hang tuah. seeing what is going on, i am as ignorant. so what if we lose our heritage? i don't think the others would give a damn anyway.

oh and by the way, i have songs by siti nurhaliza and arwah sudirman in my ipod.

am i still really, malay?