the feeble affair with confidence and the ever-increasing inferiority complex reasons everything about my take on relationships. i do have my pride, not wanting to be second best and not wanting to waste time pursuing something which might not be of any value. the fact that i am planning to make some money during the june holidays via my indonesian uncle considering his status quo of influence with myself being my own boss of my own business further substantiates a longing for something stable to provide. i would also like to keep my repute which i think is extremely fervent and respectable. if anything, i should have but myself to blame if i do get overly fucked up. putting it in a matter-of-fact-way, i actually don't want it.

erm.

oh, who am i kidding?