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if holden caulfield is real and is living, if he chanced upon me, he'd beat the shit out of me and kill me with his bare fists. i am a fake. i love everything and anything anglo, thinks and act like i'm anglo when i'm actually not. i worship another race because i think my own race is incompetent and impotent when i might actually be more incompetent and impotent than they are. which makes me, as holden caulfield would have put it, a phony. a first-class, gold-plated, honey-brazen phony.

:):):)

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

and so,

"kutanya malam,
dapatkah kau lihatnya perbedaan,
yang tak terungkapkan,
tapi mengapa,
kau tak berubah,
ada apa denganmu.

oh hanya malam,
dapat meleburkan segala rasa,
yang tak terungkapkan,
tapi mengapa kau tak berubah,
ada apa denganmu."


this song has been repeating on my player. peter pan rocks socks because they're indonesians (and because they make good music). still, i don't know why i'm addicted to the song. maybe it's the strong words in the song.

week's been a fucking arse. the new coach, the stupid bitch at the salon (i'm getting a new hairstylist!), the ignorant pissheads and the tiring days. no mood lah, really.

and i caught the fucking flu bug.


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