piggy-backs and cup in a corn.

it's sad when things don't work out the way you expected it to be. even when you're not directly involved in the situation, you can't help but feel a little bit sad. that's the thing about rooting for someone who's pursuing a relationship. and when it fails, us male species make such bad advice-givers and listeners, really bad confidants, that we can only respond with a mere, "i feel you, man. i really do." then comes the helpless feeling when you see your mate all down, you thinking what you should be doing or saying to him, maybe a hug or a pat but then you retract back because you think it'd be gay and all. the thing that happened last week was something new for me. simply because i was quite close to both parties and i was hoping that they would last. but they didn't.

after what happened, i've learned to appreciate :):):) more.

to char: eat more. binge and binge and binge, i don't care. you look better with more meat on you.

Friday, July 25, 2008

this song is like our official course anthem.

"fiiiiiiiire."

Sunday, July 13, 2008

baby,
baby
don't
be
silly.

don't ever degrade yourself, think that you're incapable, think that you're dumb. because you're not. totally none of the above. because i think you're the most amazing person ever ever ever.

baby,
baby
don't
be
silly.

and
baby,
baby
i
miss
you
dearly.

p.s. i love how you use your eyes to signal me randomly the exact positions on your face when you want me to give you a kiss.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

oh wow i'm finally back home after two weeks in camp. i can't take any of these confinement nonsense because i'm gonna miss my mcdonald's, my kfc, my bed, my internet, my jojo, my family and of course, my dearest :):):).

the good news is that i got posted to scdf and i was fuck happy (times a million) initially until i found out that we had to get confined for one weekend to get the people in our course to bond together or something like that because we have both regulars and nsf in the same course. so like i said, i was fuck happy initially. firstly, because my father is working in the scdf and secondly because i don't have to go through all those field camps and more and more confinements that army has.

frankly, i thought scdf was gonna be a breeze because i thought it wouldn't be as bad as the army but fucken hell, fire fighting training is no fucken joke. my father cheated my feelings when he said that the training was gonna be fine for me but seriously, the first time when we had to don our fire jacket and lagging and helmet, coupled with hose drills, i swear i wanted to faint/cry/die/pee in my pants. it's that two or three hours of intense endurance training under the hot sun wearing the uber fucken hot bunker gear and carrying uber fucken heavy equipment that tests you mentally and physically. also, knowing that my father is also in the scdf kinda makes it all more pressurising because i don't wanna seem weak and fuck everything up since all his friends kinda knows his son, yours truly, is in there too. so, from fuck happy (times a million), it lowered to fuck happy (times ten).

i underestimated the scdf. mats or no mats, rejects or no rejects, i now have a high degree of respect for scdf and their fire fighters. even the fittest had trouble adapting to the training and found it extremely challenging. if i could rank the difficulty level of the physical training of the three national service force, i'd rank scdf first, followed by the saf and lastly, the spf.

so i'm gonna go back to camp again and i'm really gonna miss my dearest :):):) and i hope i'd get used to all the training soon because it's really crazy. still, everything's fine and all because i get to see ilyas everyday and we can talk cock sing song play mahjong since he lives a few dorms away from me.