i don't usually listen to malay songs or manglish songs or any songs equivalent for that matter but this zee avi lady is pretty fucken awesome.

"Kantoi" - Zee Avi

not really in the mood to blog these days for reasons that would need to be blogged about another day. but for now, i shall extract the whole post from the girlfriend's lj word for word:

"i have been feeling restless, listless, unhappy, unresponsive and to this day i know not why. so technically i'm bothered about nothing. but if you've followed Seinfeld long enough you'd know that nothing is actually god damn something, only basically nothing. ah now how messed up am i.

and so at times like these you'd think tauf would actually be here attending to my unclassified mood but nooo,

-after the millionth call, he finally picks up-

Me: baby i wanna tell you that whenever you're sleepy, which is all the time, you refuse to entertain me.
Tauf: baby i love you but i sleeping.
Me: but i'm boredddddd and sadddddd.
Tauf: why sayang. baby i love you
Me: i don't know. =(
Tauf: okay let's sleep. i love you.
Me: (0_0) Alah, go sleep lah sleep until you die. Take care.
Tauf: okay i love you take care.
Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH."

lesson to all female species: NS boys need sleep as much as they need air to breathe.

okay, class dismissed.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ever heard of frank sinatra?

"For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way."

Thursday, July 02, 2009

nightmares come in your dreams. what if you wake up and find yourself living in a nightmare? there are a few options, of course. there's denial, which basically means you going back to sleep to escape from the nightmare and pretend that everything's fine, hoping that when you wake up, everything will be all good again. there's that defeatist attitude where you fuck every possible thing out there and just lie down on your bed, refusing to budge. finally, there's that choose-life option where you jump straight at what's in front of you and do whatever you can to make it less of a nightmare for yourself.

denial is when you go back to sleep pretending that nobody is calling you even though you strongly know that you're suppose to go for the meeting scheduled that afternoon. being in defeat mode is when you lock yourself in your room, lights all off, windows shut, staring at the ceiling whilst on your bed for days as if you're having a bad case of paralysis, without food or water, hoping that nobody would find out that you're locked inside, dying slowly. choosing life is when you wake up and you realize that you're in the middle of a cross-fire in what seems like a war and the only way out is to fucken shoot the other party or to bail at all costs. choosing life is when you wake up and you realize that your car is falling head-on into the river and you're punching the car window so hard because you don't want to sink along with the car into the very depth of no return. choosing life is when you wake up and you realize that you have a shitload of work to do, dozens of calls to make and a few hundred emails to reply and even know you can never complete all of it because it all keeps on piling, you know you have to at least clear as much work as you can.

today was the first time in my life when i woke up realizing that reality is a nightmare.