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if holden caulfield is real and is living, if he chanced upon me, he'd beat the shit out of me and kill me with his bare fists. i am a fake. i love everything and anything anglo, thinks and act like i'm anglo when i'm actually not. i worship another race because i think my own race is incompetent and impotent when i might actually be more incompetent and impotent than they are. which makes me, as holden caulfield would have put it, a phony. a first-class, gold-plated, honey-brazen phony.

:):):)

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Sunday, October 26, 2008



you think you funny? you think you funny? you think you funny?



"some people are just born human. the rest of us, we take a lifetime to get there."



"If the fish swam out of the ocean
And grew legs and they started walking
And the apes climbed down from the trees
And grew tall and they started talking

And the stars fell out of the sky
And my tears rolled into the ocean
Now I'm looking for a reason why
You even set my world into motion

'cause if you're not really there
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
That it's all just a bunch of matter

'cause if you're not really there
Then i don't want to be either
I wanna be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold"


i'm addicted to this song due to various reasons. deep stuff with the lyrics, the song has an electro-funk and soulful feel to it, a quasi-british thing going on and sparro, the artist, is openly gay which is actually pretty ironic considering that his father is a gospel minister. it's more of the lyrics actually, something religiously and spiritually abstract.


Saturday, October 11, 2008
"baby, i sakit perut but i strong."

baby dearest can make me smile even though i feel so fucken guilty that i'm unable to spend time with her this weekend, especially during the time of the month.

i don't have them monthly periods but i know it sucks balls.



gonna totally burn this weekend. wits course and guard duty yet again. on another note, i managed to do some visiting. well, after today it was like four house visits in total this eid. and i realized that i don't like the routined procedure of going to one house, talk cock, leave and proceed to another. i mean if you wanna do some serious catching up, you should limit yourself to a maximum of two houses per day rather then going to a dozen houses at once.

gotta thank ng LIJIN for being so unselfish. you don't know how much i appreciate your help. your laughing buddy thinks you're cute and hilarious, by the way.

also, baby bought me the mama mia! soundtrack after i told her that i really really wanted to get it. watched the movie two weeks ago when it opened and i'm hooked (even though mister brosnan can't sing for nuts). it was a nice surprise. i'm so gonna bring the cd for duty tomorrow and let my laptop play the cd on repeat, put in on speaker and then everybody will be like, "i belieeeeeeeeeeveeee in angels," or "voulez-voooooooooooouuuus, AH-HA."


Wednesday, October 01, 2008
mrt hughug.